SHOULD PARENTS SPANK THEIR CHILDREN?
“Mummy, why do you spank me? I made no mistake.” The child was crying when she said these words and it was a scene in the film I saw yesterday. When I was young, my parents sometimes spanked me as a punishment for doing something wrong. This kind of punishment is now still popular in many families, but in fact, it is not actually effective. I think spanking shouldn’t be used to punish children anymore.
The first thing I want to mention is that children who are spanked by their parents don’t often realize their real mistakes and even be more stubborn. When I was at primary school, I was spanked by my mother more than by my father. She would hit my bottom for such little things as breaking the vase, refusing to take medicine, etc. At that time, I always thought that she was unfair to me. She just wanted to hit me because she hated me and she loved her vases more than her daughter. Of course, it was just the thinking of a child. However, this thinking can be the thinking of many children when they are spanked. They certainly can realize the wrong thing they have done but they just accept it in a compulsive way and so that, they may react by making more trouble to take their parents’ attention. Many parents spank their children just because they can’t control their anger and then they feel sorry for doing so. This can make their children feel more frightened than guilty. We may think that spanking is stronger than giving advice or reminding, so children won’t make the mistake again. But this is not a good punishment when we want children to understand and have right attitudes towards things they have done.
Spanking can also affect the close relationship between parents and children. Some children don’t dare to do anything because they are afraid of being punished by their parents. When they make mistakes, their parents spank them with or without explaining and gradually, they are not eager to share everything. Normally, children tend to tell their parents most things they experience. If their parents listen and comment smartly and in a friendly way, children will feel safe and want to share more. But if their parents just want to punish them when they make mistake or just criticize them all the time, they will find it hard to talk to their parents because they are afraid and they think that their parents are just strict supervisors, not friends. This is the problem that many parents have to face and they can’t find the right method to develop their children’s character. In some families, spanking is used as a traditional punishment for children even when they get older. However, we should think of another punishment without hurting the children’s bodies and in some countries, it is even against the law.
Spanking is not a good way to punish children. It can be more popular in the past in some Asian countries but with the method of home education today, it is absolutely not appropriate. Parents should be close to their children not to use much violence.
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